doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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