I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
