Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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