so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
