yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
