with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize