sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize