have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
