I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
