I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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