dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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