it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
