Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I need to sanitize my soul.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
