i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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