How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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