did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
