Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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