sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
