Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
