i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
