You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
