my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
