I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
