:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
