im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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