just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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