Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
third nipple confirmed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
