Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i've created a new STD.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
this is an emotional support booty call
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
