I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
