I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
