You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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