Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
