Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
