I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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