well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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