i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
