Im at strip club and am horny
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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