your room smells of hookers.
And success
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
