I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
