If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
