This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
