just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
