Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
