I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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