i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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