You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
