apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
