I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
