Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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