People with herpes should wear stickers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
