dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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