I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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