I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
