i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
