I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize