i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
