I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
