Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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