Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
