I'd wear matching sweaters with you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize