oh god the rape fog is back!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize