Will you blow on my dice?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
