We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
