I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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